Posted on April 19, 2024
Think of surgery kind of like having a baby. No one tells you after you have a baby that, “No, you are not going to be able to walk the runway next week in the Victoria’s Secret show as you will still be ginormous” or “No, your pre baby clothing isn’t going to fit. For months. So hold onto all that pregnancy gear.” or “No, you may not feel nirvana and rainbows when you try to breastfeed your slippery baby who does not seem to want to latch onto your breast despite being terribly hungry.”
It’s that.
So top five things you should know about having surgery.
- You will have doubts. Before surgery, the morning of surgery, right after surgery, weeks after surgery. You will think, “is/was it really that bad?” or “what did I do?” The bar for elective surgery is high. Even if your breasts touch your waist or every day you curse as you tuck in your belly skin into your highwaisted granny underwear – oops I mean *shapewear*- you will wonder why you did it. You will regret it. You will have pain, and you are tired, and you can’t get out of bed without help, and the scars look frankenstein at the beginning. And you chose to do it.
- People may react in weird ways. Some people may support you (and many of them whether they fess to it or not have done these same surgeries). And those people are GREAT. They know you need someone to hang out with, good movie recommendations, and someone to bring you a protein smoothie and flowers to brighten your day. Some though may not support you. You do NOT need to deal with their stuff. You do not owe an explanation to anyone about anything. “I am not available next week.” That’s it. You do not need to tell them any reason why you can’t work/pick up the carpool/make cookies for the bakesale/play pickleball.
- You just can’t do your usual stuff. It will be shocking that simple things- unloading a dishwasher, sitting on or getting up from the toilet, showering, getting dressed- will knock you out. You will NOT FEEL NORMAL for at minimum a week or two. Plan for it. See my blog on how to prepare-treat it like a bible.
- Go Zen. It takes months to heal. M. O. N. T. H. S. You will be back to normal family/work life within two weeks. You will be exercising at a month (3 months for core if you did a tummy tuck). But sensation isn’t normal. You will get weird zings and soreness and itching. Your scars have layers of dissolving sutures, that will feel hard and lumpy and wrinkled and elevated for months. So this part is hard- you feel kind of normal, you’re doing your normal life, but you just aren’t normal. Try not to focus on it. Be smart. Do your wound care and if something hurts, don’t do it and talk to your doctor. But otherwise, the body is doing its thing. Let it.
- Don’t be a perfectionist. I state this all the time to my patients. This is not like building bookshelves, where I can cut to 1/8″ and build something that will look exactly like that a year from now. Tissue isn’t like that. Healing isn’t like that. Tissue stretches and contracts. Bodies are asymmetric. Forces are asymmetric (sleep on one side? What is your job? Are you right handed? Did you breastfeed more on your left? Which eye is your dominant eye? Is the skin quality on the left side of your face worse than the right from sun damage while driving? Is one breast larger? One nipple more lateral?) The list goes on and on. We aim for perfect. And then we align the tissue and it does its thing. If you have things which are off, many can be addressed. But you have to let it settle for months before you can even start to talk about it. If that is not okay with you, don’t do surgery. Tissue is dynamic and not totally predictable.